Why Gen Z Hates Happiness (and Loves Irony)

Gen Z speaks their own language when it comes to talking about feelings. Swipe through TikTok or Instagram, and you'll find more than enough jokes about being sad, nervous, or exhausted. You'll also find individuals joking about the concept of being in a state of eternal bliss. Crying about stress or sadness isn't embarrassing to Gen Z—it's a joke. They enjoy using sarcasm, memes, or jokes to express their emotions. They're not necessarily against happiness; they just don't necessarily buy into the way happiness is presented to them.

Millennials are the generation prior to Gen Z. They came up during the time social media was hot and the notion that you had to be positive all the time. Their status updates were motivational quotes, flawless photos, and "good vibes only" statements. They considered pursuing dreams, developing personal brands, and being positive. Happiness to millennials was something you could pursue and post on social media.

Gen Z grew up in tough times wherever they are. They've endured climate change, pandemics, economic woes, and a whole lot of uncertainty. So, naturally, most of them believe it's impossible to remain positive all the time. Rather than pretend everything is fine, they make fun of their issues. They meme about being mentally exhausted. They make fun of their own anxiety. It sounds strange, but to them, it's a coping mechanism.

Irony is a big part of Gen Z's communication with each other. When they say things like, "I love having panic attacks before all my Zoom meetings," they're not really happy about freaking out—they're being ironic about it. It's a combination of truth and humor that helps them deal with overwhelming feelings without being too exposed. Being super serious on the internet is dangerous, so they cover up their feelings with irony. Irony is a safe haven for their feelings.

This does not mean Gen Z is mean or heartless. Many of them actually care deeply about mental health and emotional well-being. They simply express it differently than previous generations. While millennials may go to a yoga class and hashtag self-care Sundays, Gen Z may make a TikTok video about crying in the shower to sad music. Both are methods of coping with feelings—but they do not look very similar.

Social media is also a big contributor to this gap. Millennials were all about creating this idealized online persona. Gen Z prefers to be real, even if that means having the messy part of life out there. Their photos may be blurry, their videos may be raw, and their posts may be filled with inside jokes or self-deprecations. They do not desire to appear perfect—they desire to appear real.

There is a rather drastic difference in linguistic usage between the two generations. Millennials employed hashtags such as #blessed or #livingmybestlife. Gen Z employs terms such as "it's giving breakdown" or "I'm fine, just emotionally bankrupt." Such terms might sound negative, yet they are employed in a lighthearted way. They enable Gen Z to speak of difficult things without being too somber.

Other experts say that this type of humor makes people feel safer. If you laugh at your problems, they don't seem as threatening. It's like saying to yourself, "Yes, life is tough—but I can make fun of it." Humor is a shield against the fear of having to be okay all the time.

But this type of humor also makes it more difficult to be able to empathize as well. If everything is hyper-ironic, then it is difficult to determine when someone is really in trouble. This is why seriously listening and asking friends how they're doing, even when they are making jokes, is so crucial. Behind the jokes, there could be deep pain.

Gen Z has an ambivalent understanding of happiness. They aren't hateful of happiness. They simply don't care for it when it seems forced. They need authentic, genuine moments—not forced grins or staged photos. They need to be heard and understood, not instructed to "cheer up" or "stay positive" every single moment.

Irony allows Gen Z to feel without putting themselves out there too much. It gives them a means of connecting to people who feel the same. It also allows them to tell their own story, even during difficult times. While millennials might listen to self-help audiobooks or hear wellness gurus, Gen Z might watch terrible memes or post their terrible social anxiety.

They both desire to be happy but differently. Millennials achieve it by creating a fantastic life. Gen Z turns inward and examines their true feelings, even if the feelings are messy. They will not be ashamed to say, "I'm not okay." They might, however, say it in a joke or a humorous tweet. Ultimately, Gen Z doesn't dislike happiness either. They simply don't feel like faking anymore. They want to experience genuine happiness, not manufactured happiness. They want to be able to laugh and cry simultaneously. And perhaps that isn't so terrible. Perhaps it's simply a new way of being honest in a world that so desperately needs us to fake.